‘breastfeeding is a natural instinct?’ Maybe in the animal kingdom, not for humans anymore.
Maybe our ancestral women had more time on their hands, had more children, and learned more from their mothers and relatives about breastfeeding.  But in this modern era where we women are always multitasking, breastfeeding is weighing heavy on our hearts and minds as neither does it come naturally nor is it easy to learn.
Some fortunate ones do it very easily and spontaneously. However, not everyone is that lucky.
After my own experience and seeing some of my patients go through this with a considerable amount of confusion and stress, I decided to write about the difficulties that women face rather than the benefits of breastfeeding (which I do not dispute).
For those who have  or are experiencing difficulties, I would like to reassure and say ‘Do not feel guilty, you are not alone.’

1. Soon after the delivery, I was expecting to feel an intense desire to feed the baby, but I did not, Am I normal?

We are often given the impression that as soon as you give birth, you will experience this overwhelming motherly love and wanting to feed the baby.  

Believe me, it is not so, and a majority of the women will agree with me on this. I looked at  my baby and all I could think of was ‘How am I going to feel anything for this blob covered in liquor and blood.’

That was 15 years ago, and today, words are not enough to express what I feel for my children.  So give it time. I am not saying 15 years! But at least 15 minutes or a couple of hours.
The feeling of bonding is the result of a hormonal milieu created by various hormones in the brain such as Oxytocin, Dopamine, etc.;  Research has shown that 30% of women do experience delayed bonding which might be due to exhaustion, pain, or any other factor.

It is proven that if enough Oxytocin is injected, you can bond with anyone not just your baby!
So do not despair, it will kick in, and you will feel the ‘tug,’ Just hang on.

2. I have very small breasts, do you think I will be able to breastfeed?

Do not worry, the size of the breasts does not make any difference. Size varies depending on the fat content in the breast and fat is not what is producing the milk for your baby.

3. There is very little milk coming; I don’t think this is enough for my baby as he/she is hungry all the time and keeps waking up every 10 minutes to feed.

This is a common problem faced by first-time parents. The anxiety that your baby is not getting enough milk is normal. But believe me, the baby doesn’t need a lot of milk in the first two days.
In addition to this, the size of a newborn stomach is tiny and can hold only a teaspoon full of milk at a time which means it can feed only a tiny quantity at a time.  However, by day 3 or 4, this capacity increases by four times and that is when you start noticing that your baby is sleeping a bit more between feeds.  By this time the baby’s suckling reflexes also get better with practice.

4. Is it wrong to bottle-feed my baby?

There is nothing wrong or right about this. If for some reason, you are unable to breastfeed, there is nothing wrong with bottle-feeding your baby. You can’t let the baby starve, Can you ?!
However, before you decide to bottle feed, you need to be aware of a few things.
a.  Bottle feeding doesn’t always equate to formula feeding. You can bottle-feed your baby with expressed breast milk (especially in premature babies who can’t suck and are in neonatal intensive care).  This will provide all the benefits of breastfeeding. However, the expression of breast milk either manual or by the pump is not as stimulating as a baby suckling at your breast. So the establishment of milk production and maintenance is not effortless. So unless you did not have a choice (as in preterm or ill baby), it might be easier to breastfeed than bottle feed after the initial teething difficulties are overcome.
b. Bottle feeding with formula feeds although might be less tiring and troublesome and makes you feel like a normal sane person, doesn’t have all the benefits of breastfeeding (such as ideal composition for baby’s needs, gentle on the stomach, antibodies, less chance of infection plus lower risk of breast cancer for yourself to name a few )

5. My baby keeps vomiting and passing stools as soon as I finish feeding.

This again is quite normal. As soon as the milk enters the stomach, there is a reflex that makes the baby pass stools. As long as the stools are not greenish and the baby is passing enough urine and feeding and playing well, you needn’t worry.  Vomiting or regurgitation is more common in babies who are bottle-fed as the baby ingests air while sucking through a bottle which is lesser while breastfeeding. It is important to keep the baby in an upright position for a while or until it burps to prevent this.

 6. I was told not to feed the baby lying down, but my stitches in the perineum hurt.

There is nothing wrong with feeding a baby lying down as long as your position is correct. The reason mothers are advised not to do so is because of the risk of suffocation if the mother goes off to sleep while doing so. So be careful that you do not fall asleep while doing so and hence definitely do not feed lying down at night.

7. Can I take medicines to produce more milk?

There is no need for it. The main stimulus comes from the baby suckling. So if you want to increase your breast milk, just feed the baby more frequently. Drink lots of water and fluids (such as juice and milk which have the nutrients).
Consult your doctor if you are not getting enough milk despite this.

8. I feel like a failure as my baby doesn’t want to feed from me as it feeds well from the bottle but cries when I try to breastfeed.

Babies do not have any such feelings towards you. They are just doing what is easy for them. Milk flows more easily from the bottle, but the baby needs to do a workout to get it out of his breast. So once they know this trick they just cry until they get the bottle.

9. Am I a bad mother if I do not want to breastfeed my baby?

Despite everything you have heard and read, some of you might just not want to breastfeed at all.
Honestly, that is ok.  No need to beat yourselves for it.   Like everything else you do in life, you do have a choice despite what everyone around you says. So do not feel guilty about it.

10. Will my baby bond with me if I do not breastfeed?

Fathers do not breastfeed!
Breastfeeding is not the only way to bond with your baby. There are many more ways of bonding with your baby. Your baby will bond and love you as much even if you do not breastfeed.

Bonding is not a one-time event anyway; it is a lifetime process. 
Good luck whether you decide to breastfeed or not.